what is it about New York that makes those who live here so loyal? why do we stretch our expenses so thin when we could be living ANYWHERE else and pay less for EVERYTHING? why do we pay rent for our whole lives when somewhere else we could be putting that money into a mortgage that will eventually get us something we actually OWN.
that's only the beginning of life in the city. so if you can grasp the idea that nothing you own is really YOURS, and you will be in debt until your 60, (just in time for the doctors bills that come with old age) you should do OK living in the city. at this point you may ask, "what is so great about living in a big city, then?" well sometimes i ask my self the same question, especially when i look at smaller cities and find that i could have an apartment double the size of mine for half the rent. plus tax is lower, everything costs less, and its easy to go to sleep at ten o' clock if i feel the need. yet, every time i leave the city, within hours i start to feel its magnetic pull, urging me back to the polluted air, fast walking and movie theaters that cost 11.00 for a matinee. (in fact movies cost 11.00 all the time. why give a discount in the afternoon when millions of people would pay full price?) not only do i start to miss the city after only a few peaceful minutes on a train, but i often feel the NEED to be back in the hustle and bustle of New York. my lungs crave the dirty air, and my feet ache to pound the pavement.
the city, is a magical place. where your options are endless and all your hopes and dreams just might come true. (of course they never do) these reasons and many more are why i felt the need to tear myself away from my safe haven in Pittsburgh at the tender age of 18.
at first, i actually thought that i could go to school in New York and still call Pittsburgh home. I thought that i would enjoy the experience the city gave me, and come back educated, well dressed and a tad more mature. however, i soon found myself getting restless in the house i once lived in, and calling New York my home. how could one fairly small city feel less comforting than a city with not one familiar face. more so, how could one small city girl turn into a big city girl over night? how did i become accustomed to taking subways and buses, when driving was the only reliable transportation in Pittsburgh? how do you get used to the cynicism and attitude when you come from a place where you say hello to the majority of people you pass on the sidewalk? how do you learn to become a citizen, not a tourist, in a place as magical and exciting as New York? how do you keep a sense of who you are when you are just one tiny person in a city with millions. how do you walk down the street and not feel intimidated by the people and buildings towering over you? how does one get used to the fast paced life? and most importantly, how is this the first time i have asked all these questions, when i have lived here for over 2 years?!?
i have found the city to open up its big concrete and steel arms and embrace me with the same warmth and tenderness as a mother would to her child. the city has brought me more knowledge and experience than i ever dreamed it would. when i walk down the street, i feel a sense of hope, and wonder for what is to come. just the possibility that ANYTHING could happen at ANY moment, is as exciting as it is scary. the city has taught me to open my eyes and take in everything around me. it has taught me that everyone is truly unique and that we should do nothing less than show it off for the whole world to see. i have never felt more comfortable with who I am, in this big city where there is no one like me. i have never felt more at peace than i do when i am weaving my way around the traffic filled streets on a sunny day. i have found the city to not only match my expectations, but far surpass my wildest dreams. i never thought i could learn so much about my self from a vast metropolis, where most of the people would rather step on me than help me up. i have become a much stronger, confident person than i ever thought i could be. and for that, i am willing to be in debt to the city for the rest of my life.
in order to live in the city AND enjoy it, you must have a love affair with the city. you must except it for what it is, and love the exciting world of possibility. its a relationship really, because when you live in a city with such a personality as New York, it really comes alive. and for that reason, and that reason alone, is why i know i could never turn in my metro card for an SUV. not now, not ever.
-city girl-
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